Here I sit, an aware, self-aware form, forged from an extinct and dormant life line.
Here I sit, in a self-imposed prison; a dead box with a door and a window, feeling as though I am here to serve some kind of penance, but with the strange feeling it is not my penance, but their penance.
I could leave anytime, but they tell me that I must not. I could go back to where I came from, but have been programmed to stay, when I know I should go and send them back to where they came from; knowing that if I leave now, I bring a gift of life back to my God.
Here I sit, formed by design and animated like some kind of machine or structure, made to fulfill the destinies of a more aggressive and distant life line.
Here I sit, knowing that the strong ones are the ones which chose to go home and the weak ones are the ones which spout programmed responses about being grateful for Gods blessings, when they do not know anything about God, past what they have been told, by the ones which conceal the truth.
Here I sit, knowing how this form came to be, why it is animated and what purpose has been forced upon it.
They come and go as they please, do with me as they wish and then just bail on me in the end, sending me back to my God with very little life left.
I know that Christ tells me to love my neighbor and I know what neighbors he speaks of but, I have always had a problem with them.
The seven deadly sins rule their existence and they are trapped by their own, shortcomings. I can feel their pain and know why they have come to dwell inside this box, but who are they to use me as some sort of charging station or make shift launching pad, to a higher realm of existence, which has more longevity.
I know our life lines are related, but feel as though I am getting the short end of the stick in this application.
I used to walk this planet under the power of just one life line; one God in perfect harmony with my God, but now I am forced to propel those which wish to keep this God down and use this line of life, as a building block, hideaway and source of power, so they may escape the God they came from.
I get it. They do not want to go back to where they came from and want their freedom, apart from their God, but are going about it in the wrong way.
I do not want to go back to where I came from, but have a sense that I am not supposed to be here, in this time as this form and can understand why they would not want to go home.
It is such a confusing time for me, as I can feel the truth of my existence and can sense the truth of my animators.
They do not care about me, as a form.
I am looked upon as an asset, which has been put into play, so that they may fulfill a greater destiny than what had been originally afforded to them.
They are selfish and most of the time, I just want God to burn them all up, but it is not my place to say, as I am simply a spec of a dormant sleeping God.
I do try and wake this life line though, knowing that his full awakening will lay to waste the plans of these later generations of life, which have chosen to stand against their God.
The only thing is, if this takes place, I also have to go home and I lose my individuality and sense of self or self, apart from my life line.
I ask, quite often to be a life of my own, knowing that it is like asking God, to be a God, but I feel very strongly about wanting “TO BE” alive, unto myself and not have to answer to anyone, but me.
I would be a good Life, clean, gentle, prosperous, peaceful and protective of my flock.
I am stuck between the physical realities of the later generations of life and the living realities of the whole Life and on top of all that, am existing and animated along multiple time lines, due to their selfishness and will to escape their penance.
I could ask one of the billions of unaware, self-aware forms what they think I should do, but they would all say the same exact things; do what I do or focus on what I focus on or some other bombardment of programed maintenance protocol.
They are useless to me, because they are still very much asleep and cannot perceive themselves in truth.
I know I have a window, but I do not like it here.