i am dead
a self-aware form, with no “LIFE” of my own.
i am not alive.
i have “LIFE”, but “THEY” are not mine.
i hold “LIFE”, the “LIVES” of “OTHERS”.
i am a self-aware field for “LIFE” to grow.
i am the field of “LIFE”.
i yearn to be, “ALIVE”.
One field, one tree, one “LIFE”.
i want to be more than just a field for “LIFE” to grow and later to be harvested; leaving the form to be cycled back into the field, like when we plow the reminisce of our crops back into the earth.
i have never been a good form.
i have always sensed more “LIVES” than i could handle.
i have always been at war with all of “THEM”.
i fight “THEM” tool and nail.
i am not a good form. i may be a great field, but not a good form.
It all depends on what kind of journey these “LIVES” came for.
If, by being, at a constant state of war, against the “LIVES” which dwell within make “THEM” stronger and propel them into the upper realms, then maybe i am a wonderful field, maybe even the best field that ever was, but what kind of payment does the field have to look forward to, when the “LIVES” get closer to “GOD” and the field gets churned up for another season.
i am at odds with “LIFE”.
Some would say; “this is your purpose” and i would say; you have no idea of what is really going on here.
A good form is an unaware, self-aware form, but i have always been aware.
Aware that something is not right about any of this.
Why would “GOD” do this? “HE” would not, for there would be no need to refresh “HIS” “LIFE”.
This is all “MANS” doing; a later generation of “MAN” trying desperately to stay whole unto “HIMSELF”, apart from “GOD”.
Using a dormant sleeping “LIFE” line as a make shift charging station for the “LIFE” lines which constitute their presence.
There is good “LIFE” in me and if i am destined to be a field, then i would appreciate just one good “LIFE”, maybe even a “LIFE” to call my own, but what I would really like, is to be “ALIVE” unto “MYSELF”, but that is just like the “MEN” and “WOMEN”, which dwell within.
Maybe i am not an aware, self aware form, but a “SELF” aware “LIFE”, trying to be a “LIFE” unto myself, which would make me this later generation of “MAN, that i speak of.
i cannot tell what is right or wrong, what is up or down or what is the primary “TRUTH” of this realm, all i know is that their is change afoot and i feel as though i should cash out, especially if i am just a field.
i mean, come on, if “I AM “just a “FIELD”, “WHO” told “YOU”, that it was OK, to use “ME” as such. “WHO” the fuck do “YOU” think “YOU” are, pulling “ME” apart, isolating “ME” and using “ME” to recharge your flock.
The Sabbath was to be honored.
“I” have a good mind to become, that which “I” was, before “I” was not.