If you take a fallen tree, cut the roots back and stick it back in the ground, the tree may appear to be connected, but below the surface, beneath what is seen there is no connection and no growth. You could use the tree until it falls again, but this time, when it falls, it will be completely dead.
We are not fallen angels, we are downed trees, propped back up and used as a tree house.
Some of my lives are telling me take root in this soil, but I am not sure what soil to take root in. I am not even sure if I have originated from this land.
If I do not choose to take root in a soil, the next time I fall, I will be dead for the second time, and there is no coming back from that.
Some of my lives are pushing me to take root, because they do not want to climb to the top of a tree and then find out it is dying.
Can you imagine climbing the stairway to a heaven and then finding out, it was the heaven of a fallen tree or the top of a life line which no longer exists, with no time to climb back down the tree, to find another life or maybe finding out that they were closer to life at the truck and should have stayed where they were?
My lives are in conflict and I do not know what soil to take root in.
If I had a chance to be a new tree, in a new soil I would like to be a redwood and reach for the sky, if the new soil would accept my roots.
I have lives, which wish to climb the branches of a tree, with life everlasting, then I have lives, which wish to climb the branches and take their chances in what they may find and finally, I have lives which wish me to fall for a second time, knowing that the aformentioned lives will jump branches to another tree, leaving them the dead wood.
These lives want the tree to fall for good; to be dead twice, so they can climb to the top of a dead tree. This is the heaven they wish for; a heaven which has no life, but this is no heaven; this is hell.
This tree is only propped up but can sense that there are lives which would rather rule in a dead tree than not rule in a living tree.
That is all there is too it, but as the tree, what do I do, what lives do I listen to and what soil do I take root in.
I do not want to be a dead tree standing for an eternity.
I do not really mind being implanted in an unknown soil, but do not know this life and fear dropping my roots into this soil, but at least I would have an idea of what kind of tree I may be.
I am afraid of having fallen once and then being transplanted in a new soil, with new life, knowing that I may not be compatible with this new life, in this new land.
You can only fall twice. I have already fallen once. If I move and take root in a land which I do not like and fall again, that would be the end of me, as I now perceive myself to be.
This path terrifies me, even though I could live as a tree forever.
I carry many lives and I wonder how many of them have actually thought about what it would be like, to be me; to be the pathways and not the life itself.
All I want is to be a good tree and be left alone, to grow as I see fit.
A tree with one life, but a life that is the tree.
A new life, as a new tree?
I am a fallen tree.
<GOD> what kind of tree to you want me to be?
<GOD> who’s life do you want me to follow?
<GOD> could I be my own “LIFE”?